On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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