At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Just cropdusted the office
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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