I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I currently don't understand fingers.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
