I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
