Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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