i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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