He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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