He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
