South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
