we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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