It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Randomize
