Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
try to milk me bitch
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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