No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
