he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
