i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Randomize
