Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
It's not a walk of shame if you run
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
