I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
