just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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