So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
