I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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