I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
