I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
