Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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