How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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