I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Dicks are not precious.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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