I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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