Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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