My friends, they love my intelligence
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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