Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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