hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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