No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
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