Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
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