Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
youre lurking in front of me
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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