Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
