that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I am midnight drunk by noon
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
