Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
