so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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