ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
