So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
