What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
