I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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