Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I checked into jail on foursquare
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Randomize
