Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
