so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
