i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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