turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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