So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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