Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
you had me at cake vodka
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
