We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Randomize
