Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
