Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Randomize
